


Wow, You're Drunk

by bgltlena



Series: WayHaught Oneshots [7]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Nicole gets very very drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7185410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgltlena/pseuds/bgltlena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate of episode 9 - Nicole goes out drinking after her argument with Waverly. Waverly finds her later, and is left to take care of her in her hilariously drunken state.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wow, You're Drunk

**Author's Note:**

> Just saying, as a preface to this: drunk Nicole is my favorite thing EVER to write.

"Shots, please. Tequila." Nicole said, sitting down at the bar.

The barkeep nodded, turning around to grab the bottle.

Her and Waverly's argument kept playing through her head.

_"We're not dating!"_

Nicole tipped back a shot.

_"I know, I'd never ask you to be someone you're not."_

Another.

_"Don't ask me to be anything!"_

A third.

_"Except maybe friends?"_

A fourth.

_"Whatever you want, Waverly."_

More and more, until she had lost count, and her vision was fuzzy. She was downing another - her eighth or ninth, maybe? - when she heard the door open.

"Oh, Nicole, thank God," a voice said, and Nicole spun around on the barstool. "I was looking for you, I wanted to - _wow,_ you're drunk."

Nicole squinted, trying to determine who was in front of her. "Uh..."

"Oh my goodness. It's Waverly."

"Ooohhh, Waverly! Hi!"

"O-kay, let's get you home."

"You're adorable," Nicole said, accompanied by a very exaggerated wink.

"And you're drunk. Come on, get up."

Nicole tried to stand, but failed. Waverly ended up having to help her.

The smaller girl turned to the barkeep. "You can just have those taken out of my paycheck. I'll make her pay me back," she said, even though she had no intention of making Nicole pay her. The barkeep nodded. Nicole stumbled alongside Waverly, unable to keep her balance. They make it all of ten feet before Waverly gets frustrated.

"Nicole, just get on my back. I'll carry you."

"Okaaaaay."

That was easier said than done, though, as Nicole was really having a hard time jumping onto Waverly's back. The smaller girl eventually gave up and just carried Nicole over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. That was nice and all until Nicole threw up - all over Waverly's back. Waverly just groaned and kept walking, almost to her car at this point. She laid Nicole down in the back seat then went to get in the driver's seat.

"Waveryyyyyy?" Nicole slurred, messing up the pronunciation of her name.

"Yes?"

"Did I... puke on you?"

"Yes."

"I'm sooorry."

"It's okay, Nicole."

"But izz gotta be like... Aaaaaaall over you," she said.

"Yeah," Waverly said, laughing, "it is."

"I didn't meeeean to," Nicole said, and hiccupped. "it just kinda happened, y'know?"

"I know. It's okay," she said, and pulled out her phone to call Wynonna. She put the call on Bluetooth in her car and put her phone down, careful to keep her puke-covered back off of the seat. Wynonna picked up the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Wynonna?"

"Eyyyyyy, Wynoooonna!"

Wynonna laughed. "Judging by that, I'm guessing you found Nicole."

"Yeah, can you guess where she was?"

"Somewhere with alcohol?"

"Indeed."

Nicole laughed, but had to stop to hiccup several times.

"God, how drunk is she?" Wynonna asked.

"Probably... Eight or nine tequila shots?"

"Oh wow. That's enough to knock _me_ out."

"Yeah - and she's still conscious, somehow. Anyway, I'm gonna bring her to our place. I think we'd have more hangover remedies than her, especially with you around."

"Rude. But yeah, probably. Okay."

"Alright. Talk to you later, Wy."

"See ya."

Waverly ended the call.

"I reeeeeeally like you," Nicole slurred.

"Yeah, I like you too."

"Nooooo," Nicole said, laughing. "I _like you_ like you."

"Oh, um, I figured," Waverly replied, chuckling awkwardly.

"Whaaaat?" Nicole asked, shocked. "Hooow'd you figure it out?"

"Because you have flirted with me since, like, day one."

"Oh, yeah, you're right," she said, hiccupping again.

"Nicole, don't puke in my car. We're almost home."

"I won't, don't you worry your pretty little mind," Nicole slurred.

"Okay, you need a cold shower."

"I don't like cold shoooowers."

"Too bad."

"Waaaaaverlyyyyy, don't make me doooo it," Nicole complained.

"You need to get sober."

"But, but-"

"No buts, you're taking a cold shower. Now we're here."

Waverly got out of the car and quickly went around to pick up Nicole again to carry her into the house. When she got up to the front porch, Wynonna opened the door.

"God, she's even more drunk than she sounded."

"I know. She's acting like a six-year-old."

"Heeeeeeeeeyyy..." Nicole complained.

"Let's get her inside."

Waverly walked in and laid Nicole down on the sofa.

"Ew, did she puke on you?" Wynonna asked.

"Yeah, she did. I'm gonna go change and then she needs a cold shower. For now, can you force her to drink a glass of water?"

"Yeah, go. You smell."

Waverly rolled her eyes and went to go change. When she came back, Wynonna had Peacemaker lazily pointed at Nicole who was chugging a glass of water, eyes wide.

"Wynonna! I said make her drink a glass of water not traumatize her!"

"You said force. I forced," she said, lowering the gun. "She drank it."

"Come on, Nicole. Let's get you in the shower."

"Noooooooooo," she groaned.

"Nicole, I will pick you up and carry you again."

"No you wooooon't..."

Needless to say, she did. Waverly carried her straight into the bathroom and sat her down on the counter.

"Can you do this yourself, or are you going to slip and die?"

Nicole tried to hop off of the counter but fell straight to the floor. Waverly sighed as Nicole pouted up at her.

"I guess that answers that. Look, I'm not gonna help you shower if you're completely naked. Will you shower in your undies?"

"Yeah," Nicole groaned, still flat on the floor.

Waverly helped her up, then helped her take off her clothes.

"This is unlike any of the scenarios I had imagined of me taking off your clothes," Waverly muttered.

"What did you just say?" Nicole asked.

"Shit, did I just say that out loud?"

"Yep," Nicole said, popping the 'p.'

"Let's just get you into the shower."

Waverly turned the water on as cold as it would go, and helped Nicole over to the shower. Nicole started to step in but immediately pulled her leg back out.

"Waverly, it's coooooooold..." she cried, giving her best puppy dog eyes to Waverly.

Waverly's heart melted a little, but she was nothing if not strong-willed.

"Nicole. Get in the damn shower."

Nicole pouted again but stepped in anyway. She let out a little shriek, making Waverly laugh loudly. A moment later, there was a knock on the door.

"Waverly? Are you in there with her?" Wynonna asked, a little bewildered.

"She's not completely naked. I don't want her to slip and die, she can barely stand up on her own."

"Uh, okay then, continue," Wynonna said, awkwardly laughing.

Waverly looked back to Nicole, who was still pouting at her.

"You need to wash your hair. There's puke in it."

Nicole tried to turn around and grab the shampoo, but stepped on something slippery and fell right on her ass.

Once Waverly was sure that Nicole was okay, she laughed hysterically.

"You sober now?"

Waverly just watched as a single tear rolled down Nicole's cheek.

"Seriously, Nicole, are you okay? You're not bleeding."

"My feelings are hurt."

Yeah, she wasn't sober quite yet. "Why are your feelings hurt?"

"Because I fell down and you laughed at me."

"I'm very sorry, Nicole."

"No you're not."

"Nicole, wash your damn hair."

"No."

"Nicole..." Waverly warned, crossing her arms.

"No."

"Are you seriously going to make me wash the puke out of your hair for you?"

"Yep."

"Fine."

Waverly walked closer to Nicole and grabbed the shampoo bottle. She squeezed a nice amount into Nicole's hair, but she couldn't really scrub it in from her angle.

"Nicole, would you turn around a little? Please?"

"Nope."

"So you're going to make me get in there with you."

"Yep."

Waverly sighed and stripped down to her underwear, trying to ignore that Nicole was staring at her. She stepped into the shower, shuddering when the cold water hit her back.

"Was this your plan the entire time?"

"Revenge for making me take a cold shower - you do it too."

"I don't like you sometimes," Waverly said and started to work the shampoo into Nicole's hair, but Nicole turned around to face her.

"But I always like you."

"Nicole..."

"I think I've sobered up a bit."

"Y'think?"

Nicole just stared at her, and Waverly had a very long thought process that ultimately ended in 'fuck it' and she leaned forward to kiss Nicole. Nicole kissed back eagerly, even in her barely-sober state she knew exactly what was happening. When Waverly finally pulled back, Nicole shivered.

"Wow," she said.

"Wow indeed."

"That was great and all, but can you finish my hair so we can get out of this cold-ass shower?"

Waverly laughed and kissed Nicole again before turning her around to wash her hair.

This had definitely been a pretty interesting day.

**Author's Note:**

> DRUNK NICOLE IS SO RIDICULOUSLY FUN TO WRITE OMFG and I can literally only imagine drunk Nicole acting like a stubborn six-year-old and thus I wrote it.  
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed. If you feel so inclined, submit me prompts (maybe involving Nicole or Waverly being intoxicated) on my twitter, @OhHaughtDamn. Much love! -Jo <3


End file.
